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"T" shirt sayings

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NO, I DIDN'T FART. MY BUTT JUST BLEW YOU A KISS!

I COULD BE A MORNING PERSON,
IF MORNING HAPPENED AROUND NOON

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL MY WIFE I'M RETIRED!

HEAT MAKES THINGS EXPAND. SO, I DON'T HAVE A
WEIGHT PROBLEM - I'M JUST HOT!

DON'T GET ME STARTED
I DON'T COME WITH BRAKES

YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXCEED
THE LIMITS OF MY MEDICATION

I DON'T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT.
I NEED PEOPLE TO STOP PISSING ME OFF!

AT MY AGE, HAPPY HOUR
IS ANY HOUR SPENT ABOVE GROUND.

TEENAGERS, TIRED OF YOUR STUPID PARENTS?
ACT NOW! MOVE OUT, GET A JOB, AND
PAY YOUR OWN BILLS WHILE YOU STILL
KNOW EVERYTHING...

OF COURSE I'M NOT PERFECT,
THERE'S A CRACK IN MY A$$!

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